May 6th Marks 21 Years of Marriage...But Today, I Celebrate the Peace of Leaving it Behind!

Today makes 21 years since I legally wedded.
But I’m not here to write about a marriage.
I’m here to honor the woman who walked away from that marriage.
The woman I’ve become.
The woman who is still standing after all the chaos because…
…she chose herself.

I no longer chase peace.
I decided peace.
And when you decide peace, it no longer depends on the outcome.
No matter what happens in court.
No matter who shows up.
No matter how it ends.
I choose peace.

That’s why I left.
That’s why July 4th will always be my true Independence Day.

Still celebrate Juneteenth.
But July 4th is personal now.
It’s the day I stood up and walked out.
Not with a plan because the only plan I had was leaving.
But with peace.

It was the day all hell broke loose.
The day I got put out.
The day my children saw me stand up for them, even when I didn’t have a leg to stand on.
They saw I was still going to protect them no matter what.
They saw they could depend on me.

We got kicked out
But I found us a place.
And when that place ran out
I found us another place.
And then another.

No money
Just my faith
My support system
And the receipts of my obedience

We didn’t have a home of our own during those times,
But my children never had to sleep on the streets.
Because I would never allow that and they know that about me.

Even when I had nothing, I still had the Most High
And the Most High made sure I had people.
People who loved me.
People who made room for me and my children.
People I had poured into for years.
And now they were pouring back into me.

That is the power of a real support system.
That is the fruit of sowing into relationships that were never transactional.
Because when you are surrounded by women who have been thru the fire with you…
Women who have lost, grieved, rebuilt, and healed beside you…
You do not fall.
You get held.

I may not have always had money…
But I had McDonald's points.
Cash App miracles.
And grace that chased me down.

We moved from hotel to motel,
to Florida to downtown Dallas,
from downtown Dallas to a smaller place right outside of Dallas.

And no matter how temporary the places were,
There was stability.
Because I carried it with me and gave it to my children.

That’s the part people missed when I first wrote about being stable back in February 2024.
They thought I had arrived.
They thought I was living in peace when I was still writing from the edge.
I was preparing for surgery.
Staring down unpaid bills that could mean disruption.
Yet still anchoring myself.
Because something in me knew something was coming, I just didn’t know exactly what.
Something in me was already practicing what would soon be required

I had to become stable internally,
Because I didn’t see it externally.

And the truth is
Stability begets stability but in order to get it, I had to leave instability.
When I left instability,
I found stability.
When I stopped depending on dysfunction,
I connected with solid people who had
Solid homes on
Solid ground for me and my children.

My children may not understand all of it now,
But one day they will.
They’ll know I didn’t just survive.
I covered them.
I provided for them.
I made sure they were never without.
Because they can always depend on me.
Because I am The Most High personified to them.

So if you’re still wondering why I left…
I left because I was tired of being in an unstable environment.
I left because I knew I deserved peace.
I left because I was finally ready to live out the truth I had been writing about for years.

And the moment I chose peace,
Peace chose me. And since my Independence Day, I’ve been able to wake up in peace every day since I left a marriage of longevity grounded in instability. #Finally

What’s Next for You and for Me?

This moment marks a major turning point, not just in my personal life but in how I serve.
There are some shifts coming soon…in how I teach, how I lead, and how I build space for women like you who are ready to rise.
But before anything changes, I want to make sure you have access to the tools that have already changed lives:

📘 If You’re Un-Hitched: Start With the Book That Protects Your Peace
Get your copy of Nine Things Women Should Ask a Man Before Giving Him Sex

This isn’t about waiting forever.
It’s about knowing who a man really is before you let him touch your body or your future.
This book will help you choose to date with discernment, emphasize the right boundaries for you, protect your softness, own your sexuality, and stop giving your time to men who were never qualified. 😉 

Already read it? Good.
Now it’s time to apply what you read and live it out loud.
Apply to the Frustration to Liberation Mastermind

This is where the real shifts happen alongside other women who are reclaiming their power and rewriting their patterns.

If You’re Hitched: Reignite the Pleasure You Thought Was Gone

📗 Nine Positions to Get You to the Big O especially if you’re struggling to get to The Big O.

You’re married, but you feel unseen in the bedroom.
You’re touched, but not explored.
This book was made for women of faith who want pleasure without guilt, connection without pressure, and orgasms that don’t require faking.

It’s not just positions; it’s permission.
To want more. To enjoy more. To receive more.
And to know that The Most High didn’t give you a body like that for it to feel nothing.

Your Next Step Is the One That Aligns With Who You Are Becoming

Whether you’re starting with a book or stepping into the mastermind, this is your invitation to do more than just survive the wait, the marriage, or the breakup.

This is your call to become the most powerful, sensual, and spiritually anchored version of yourself. And I’m right on the journey with you.

Always Much Love,

Octavia E. Vance (OEV) 💋 
Your Favorite Sexologist and Navigator of Love, Leisure & Pleasure